Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day came and went. It was uneventful and drab which is exactly how I like it. It was just another Tuesday. I don't want to sound bitter, but I am most definitely anti-Valentine's Day. In my opinion,  Valentine's Day is just another holiday exploited by Hallmark to make sales. I mean, do we really need to designate a day to show our loved ones that we care? I think not. That's something that should be done on a regular basis.

I would personally prefer that my significant other treat me like crap one day a year and be loving the other 364 instead of the opposite. I also don't believe that a grand gesture is needed to prove your love and devotion. If a man sends me flowers on Valentine's Day, in my mind, it's pretty much meaningless. He's sending them out of a sense of obligation. He's basically feeling pressured by society to perform like a circus clown. He's basically trying to avoid the wrath that he believes he'll get if he doesn't do what is expected. That is super lame in my book.

However, if that same man sends me flowers on a random day for no apparent reason, then it means so much more. I would appreciate that heartfelt and sincere gesture one hundred times more than receiving obligatory flowers. When I was 19-years old, I had to work late on Christmas Eve and I was super bummed about it. It was my son's first Christmas and I had to work. The call center was pretty lonely since there was just a skeleton crew on duty and all I wanted to do was to go home to my baby. I saw the secretary walking through the center holding a beautiful arrangement of deep red roses with pine accents and I remember thinking "God, those flowers are gorgeous". I almost cried when she walked up to my desk and set them down. I've received flowers on many different occasions and from many different men, but those flowers are the ones that have meant the most to me. He knew I was down and he sent them to lift my spirits. He sent them as an act of kindness and I will never forget that. Those are the kind of flowers I want to receive. I want flowers and cards that mean sincerely something     

Progress

I'm glad to report that I'm finally starting to feel a little better. I've been spending more time with Gym and it's slowly becoming a habit again. I've been preoccupied with running, Muay Thai, MMA, and BJJ. I've noticed that little by little I'm starting to shed the "fluff".

The fact that my "fat jeans" are starting to get really baggy again is such a relief! I can't wait to slip into my beautiful Hudson's again! I still don't feel like I'm ready to put myself out there but I don't think I look like the Elephant Man anymore.

I'm making progress on the Tim front as well. As time passes, I think less and less of him. I'd like to say that I don't think about him at all but that would be a blatant lie. For some reason, I had a weird feeling that he and that low class FB girl were on that outs. Since I can't ask him directly, I decided to be a snoop. I pulled up his Facebook page and checked his "friends" list to see if she was still on there. I figured that as long as things were good, they'd still be "friends". I was pleasantly surprised to see that she is no longer listed as his "friend" and neither is her mom. Trouble in paradise? Sure looks like it me! The grass isn't always greener, now is it Timmy? Ha ha! That is exactly what you get for being a douche! I almost feel guilty for being this happy about his misfortune but I don't feel guilty at all. You get what you give and you gave me a ton of heartache so if the universe is returning the favor, then so be it. For all I know, he's loving life with someone else, but I have a sneaky suspicion that he's not and that warms my heart.

I know he'll be back. They always come back. I'll have to decide how to proceed when he does....