Home Wrecker

Apparently closing the book on this whole Tim situation has made me irresistible. Irresistible to the wrong kind of men. I'm starting to think that I should add "Professional Home wrecker" to my resume. I'm honestly beginning to believe that I'm cursed because I'm only able to attract unavailable men.

As I've mentioned in previous posts, I still "see" Robert, my married ex-boyfriend. I've known him for 11 years and although we've tried to stay apart, we always seem to find our way back to each other. He almost broke up his marriage and family for me and I ruined my reputation and almost lost my job because of him.

None of that seems to matter to Rob. As for me, I'm looking for way out of this mess. I care for him. I think I always will, but I'm not a fool. I know that nothing will ever come of this. I know he'll never leave his wife and kids. Let me rephrase, he'll never leave his kids even if it means having to put up with his wife. However, I don't care for him like I use to. Over the years I've become more callus and cold knowing that I'll never be anything more than his mistress and his friend. He still looks at me with so much love in his eyes. He's affectionate and sincere when he tells me how he feels about me but at the end of the day,it's all meaningless. His word means nothing. He has his fun with me, then he goes home to her. This needs to end, I just don't know how to end it.

As if I don't have enough problems with one married man, I think I met another one a couple weeks ago in Vegas. I can't say for sure that he's married because I don't remember.  All I know is that his name is Jay.  I met him at the Venetian and he's a police officer. Of course he's a police officer. Vegas is swarming with police officers during Baker to Vegas weekend. I met him when I was very drunk. By the end of the night, I was even drunker. We talked in a very loud club for several hours before we went back to my room and had incredible sex. I'm pretty sure that during that conversation, he mentioned having a wife. Again, I can't confirm or deny because I was way above the legal limit.

Notice a trend here? It seems that only married police officers love me (I'm using the word "love" very loosely). I don't know what to do with myself anymore...